Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for comfort. The growing “casualization" of the country has resulted in many fashion obituaries I did not mourn-my mom's 18-hour girdle, the stranglehold of a daily necktie or the sticky torture of pantyhose in the summer come to mind… And women (and men) of a certain age have long gravitated toward the accepting nature of the elastic waist–but those garments have at least attempted a passing resemblance to their more structured counterparts. Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, once you’ve slogged through six plus decades on this planet you’ve earned the right to wear a Snuggy all day if want.
It’s the REST of the generations I’m talking to here. We already have Zoom weddings. Can bridal sweatpants be far behind? When our entire bottom halvesdissolve into permanent amorphous blobs of baggy stretch knit there may truly be no turning back.
Heed my warning, America. One of these days the pandemic will lessen and we may yearn to break free of our fleece-lined chains. But by then, department stores will all have shuttered and even our wide leg jeans may be too skinny.
So c'mon folks, get up off that sofa, run a comb through your hair and pull on a pair of real pants.
